Wishing you a zombie Christmas?
You know how kids cry when they go have their picture taken with Santa at the mall? (Check out this collection of kids crying with Santa, if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) It’s not because they have to stand in line for an hour — it’s because strangers sweating in rented costumes are creepy. But the Santa in this vintage photo I found on ebay takes creepy to a whole new level. What’s with the mask? I thought Santa was supposed to have twinkling eyes, not a blank zombie stare:
Little Johnny, in his sweet little cowboy plumber outfit, has apparently already succumbed to zombie Santa’s powers:
While little Susie is trying to resist:
Shhh, dolly. Look away — don’t make eye contact!
Here’s another creepy masked Santa photo from ebay (for those of you familiar with Boy Scouts, this picture suggests that sometimes even 2-deep leadership might not be enough):
World’s worst Eagle scout project
Look at what Santa is handing out. Do you remember those mesh stockings filled with toys? These days, the only ones I see are filled with rawhide treats for dogs.
In fairness, Santa does not have a lock on the “sweaty adults in rented costumes scaring kids” thing. My kids have had the bejeebers scared out of them by grownups dressed up as Teletubbies, the Easter bunny, Power Puff Girls, and Spiderman, to name a few. And, of course, clowns. But no one instilled more fear in my son when he was little than Chuck E. Cheese — the giant unloveable rat.
I don’t know that my kids ever really believed in Santa, or the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny, but they did enjoy the rituals associated with them. Even though they’re teenagers now, we’ll still leave out a plate of cookies, just in case a sweaty guy in a rented costume swings by with a few gifts. Inspired by these photos of men trying to make Christmas just a little more magical, I am leaving Santa Double Coconut Macaroons this year. If you like coconut, these are really good. The recipe originally came from Bon Appetit in 1994. The recipe only makes around a dozen macaroons, so I recommend doubling the recipe if you are expecting more than one Santa.
|DOUBLE COCONUT MACAROONS||
- 2 7-ounce packages sweetened flaked coconut
- ⅔ cup packed powdered sugar
- ¼ cup canned cream of coconut
- 1 ounce cream cheese, softened
- 3 tablespoons flour
- 1 egg white
- ½ teaspoon vanilla
- Pinch of salt
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
- Place one 7-ounce package of coconut and powdered sugar in a food processor and pulse until coconut is finely chopped and mixture is moist. Add cream of coconut, cream cheese, flour, egg white, vanilla, and salt, and process until well blended. Transfer dough to a medium bowl.
- Place remaining coconut in a pie plate or shallow bowl. Drop dough by rounder tablespoonfuls into coconut and roll to coat completely. Using the palms of your hands, gently roll dough into balls about 1-1/2 inches in diameter. Place macaroons on a greased baking sheet, and bake until golden brown and just firm to touch, approximately 35 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks.
- Optional: Place ½ pound of chopped bittersweet or dark chocolate in a bowl and melt in microwave, heating in 30-second intervals and stirring until smooth. Spread melted chocolate on bottom of cookie. Place cookie, chocolate side up, on a large baking sheet lined with waxed paper. Repeat with remaining cookies. Refrigerate until chocolate sets, approximately 15-30 minutes.
Fluffy coconut snowballs ready to go in the oven
A little chocolate never hurts
Merry Christmas Santa!